My b'day

I’m not the kind of person who has big bashes and grandiose celebrations for a b’day, but I’m also not the kind who can bear all the weird things happening in and around and act as if everything’s just fine and things are going great. I need people around me..I need good friends..I don’t know where and when it all started to go wrong, but the number of people on my list of friends has plummeted to an all time low, my social presence is almost Nil and the progress towards my targets is nothing short of zilch.

If I could just go back and change…WTF!!! I’ve not lived all long just to keep going back…
I don’t want to go back…I just want to know why the people who were so close have suddenly moved so far away…I don’t even seem to understand them anymore.. in fact it feels a bit weird talking to the same guys.. they no longer sound the same.. but who is to be blamed.. I would readily accept all of it if things could be set right again (I know they can be)..Its not like when I go to hyderabad, I acccidently bump into them at some mall or movie and we feel like stangers..I call them up and we talk as if everythng is normal and going great..but we just never spend time together..actually we do, but its soo less..and i just love those moments...In fact whatever time I’ve spent with them in Hyd has been totallyamazing…and I know the times we spend together will always be memorable and fun-filled…

But, its just that they are all soo held up all the time..they just tend to forget me as soon as i step out of Hyd..i become a nobody till my next trip..some even don’t have the time to pick up my calls..let aside returning my calls..They always have some excuses for not meeting me..for not staying in touch..for not doing small thngs…only if I were more important for them to make me as a reason than use an excuse against me (this sentence is grammatically wrong..but I am soo bugged with sentence correction that I wantedly make mistakes in a word document and feel happy when MS word fails to detect them..)

I realized this yesterday evening when I was all alone, not knowing what to do..I have had the most boring and the most uneventful b’day’s of my life this year..No gifts, no cakes..no treats…My life is soo monotonous that sometimes I feel that I am stuck in a recursive for loop perennially.. I need a break;

@Harini: Thanks a lot for going out and celebrating my bday…I don’t mind that u didn call back..but in the 53 seconds conversation that we had yesterday evening, you had more enthusiasm than I had it in my entire day…How was the Chinese khana btw??

@Goks: Thanks a lot for ur profile and messages on orkut (thanks to orkut too)

@Rajni: I’m sorry to be so unfair with you…I know how u wanted yday to be and everything just turned out the opposite…Sorry again..but you don’t have a choice but put up with me anyways..”I am like this only” :P

@Rest: Thanks a lot for calling up and wishing me…and sorry for sounding soo low and weird (I have a throat infection which makes me sound like HR I guess)