Still life goes on...

And i can no longer bear it... insecurity gripping me, silence surrounding me and all of a sudden my heartbeat seemed to be the only thing that creates any noise in the world that i live in...I let go a sigh, just to make some more noise, and then i breath to add some more to it... and then all the silence is shattered as one more wave crashes down, and desperately tries to roll its way down to my feet.. it fails, and in no time the huge body of water pulls the part of water that tried to break away from her back, submissively the wave makes its way back from where it had come from..and the silence is back again.

This isnt the silence that hurts, its an amazingly beautiful silence, that lasts only a moment, but gives the feeling as if it'd been present since forever. Restless as the ocean is, another wave comes by trying to reach the land, maybe it is exhausted rolling and tossing up and down all day, for soo many days, weeks, months...or even more.. this time its a bigger and a stronger one..it tries harder, this time it touches me, drowning my feet in the cold,salty water.. Fervently, it tries to hold on to the land that it has made its way to... but to its dismay, the land betrays him.. it just slips away from beneath it.dejected and deceived, the wave gives up the struggle and silently lets the ocean gallop it..

Deep down inside it thinks " Why do i have to be captured over and over again?? Why cant i be free? why cant i just decide where i have to go? Do i need to be steered and led by the ocean??when will i be free??How much more do i have to struggle,how many more times will i be captured?? Why cant i be like the river, which just flows and keeps flowing, as it pleases to, with noone to lead,it just keeps flowing freely with all its freedom and happiness... What have i done wrong to land up here?? Cant i even get a break from this struggle so that i can rejuvinate myself and be prepared to fight again, maybe in can start afresh, and maybe this time the results may change"...and this just keeps happening.. The waves get restless, create noise and try to break away from the mamoth water body, and the ocean just soo effortlessly balks these plans with soo much silence as if nothing had happened, and everything is all soo very peaceful..

I get up to leave, and suddenly i realise that these waves are soo very like me.. in so many ways.. not just like me, but maybe like you too..maybe like everyone, and everything.. there is just such a strong analogy it has with soo many things..i reach back home, thinkin about all this, go to the bed and lie down.. but i cant sleep.. i remember saying and thinkin of the things that i used to think for so many times " I need a break, i need a change""I have had enough, i cant take this anymore" i also start thinking that thinkin does nothing, but aggravates my pain, and instead of brooding over the things i'd have rather done somethin else... but what?? i dunno.... How many times havent i thought of making a fresh start, taking things from the scrap, just in the hope that thngs would go my way this time... But the fact is, the start has already been made, what has happened cant be changed...and only the future lies in ur hands.. u can never go back and make a good start..Somehow i cant help but think I'm the wave and life is the ocean and the only positive thing i can derive from this is... no matter how many times the wave fails, it never gives up or surrenders to the ocean...
still the struggle goes on, and still life goes on....